ADHD Advice, Adults with ADHD

Regulating Alertness and Sustaining Effort

Written by KirstineSeptember 24, 2010

Lydia: I feel so stupid when all of a sudden people in our meeting stop talking and I realize that they are all sitting there, waiting for me to respond.

I feel they perceive me as not being dedicated to my job, which I truly am.  In order to manage the situation, I’ve always produced a well documented agenda so that I can quickly tune into the meeting by referring to the agenda – that’s how I’ve survived many of these situations.

Inattention has its price, and I have to be creative in the corridors in order to quickly catch up on the discussion I’ve missed out on while I was day dreaming at the meetings. This is tremendously embarrassing because I often am the only one doing this again and again.

Advice: 1. If you can, tell your colleagues about your ADHD and give them a short article about it with positive attributes of that brain style to it, so you don’t get stigmatized.

2. Use a notepad or bring a computer that you can use to take notes to keep you focused.

3. Sit in front of the white board or take notes on the whiteboard..

4. Ask your colleagues to ask questions regularly to keep you focused and engaged.

5. Have the agenda, with some questions on it you’ve already written. This is especially paramount if the meeting is going to be lengthy but important.

6. Consciously fight back intruding thoughts or images and stay in tune.

7. If you’re excessively restless, buy a small ball, like a stress ball, that you can fiddle with your hands.

8. Have a meeting buddy and who also could go through the most important agendas items that have been discussed, and make sure you got them.

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ADHD Advice, Adults with ADHD

Monitoring and Self-Regulating Action

Written by KirstineSeptember 7, 2010

Sarah:

I love getting into intense conversations with other people where it’s not just small talk. I love sharing impressions and opinions between people about things that really matter. I think that’s how people get to know each other and learn from one another. Usually it works out well, but sometimes I get too intense and turn other people off when I’m trying to find out what they think and why they think that way. Usually I don’t notice it at the time; I just see that they drop out of the conversation or walk away. My husband says I just don’t know how to keep my eyes open and notice when others are starting to act uptight or bored with what’s being discussed. He says that most of the time I talk too much or ask too many questions without noticing how I am coming across and how others are reacting to what I’m saying. He says that most of the time I’m too much mouth and not enough eyes and ears when I’m in a conversation.

Advice:

Recognizing nonverbal communication is one of the executive functions of the brain, and which is the core problem for the ADHD brain. People with ADHD have problems interpreting the meaning of nonverbal communication. For example, you may be talking too much and do not notice that the person you are talking to is checking her watch or yawning. Because you do not notice this, you continue talking. When someone is talking to you, you should try and notice not only their verbal message but also their nonverbal message. This can take some practice.

Some other persons with ADHD syndrome have different problems with self-monitoring, and controlling their actions in social situations. They tend to be excessively focused on how others are reacting and are excessively self-conscious. They tend to be too constricted, too shy, too inhibited in their social actions. Though these more cautious individuals with ADHD syndrome may long for more reciprocity with others and may have many interesting ideas and feelings to share, they often get so caught up with intently monitoring that they are unable to engage themselves in social interactions.

To actively work on these issues, and to improve your social communication skills, I would work with your personal issues, alongside the following areas:

  • Sending accurate messages
  • Controlling and discussing emotions
  • Being assertive when you need to
  • Listening actively to what others are saying
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